The more I tell the truth and the more I tell my story, I
find that there are many people who have a similar story and have been through
similar pain. Some of these people are people that I’ve known for years, but I
just never knew what they had been through.
My openness about my life seems to draw those stories out. And I have had a lot of deep, important
conversations with people this last year because of it. Sometimes I think I am probably over-sharing,
but telling the truth has been a way for me to heal. I spent so many years hiding my truth from my
family and my friends and it was just destroying me. Facing the truth and telling the truth have
changed me and it has freed my soul from that pain. Every day, I feel a little bit happier and
healthier. But there are a lot of other
people living with hidden pain. I am
convinced more than ever that addiction and mental illness are our worst health
issues today. Unlike many illnesses,
these affect whole families. If you have
family members with mental illnesses or addictions, life is often unpredictable
and difficult, but especially when added to the holidays.
This year, for several weeks before Christmas, my church,
along with another local church, had a community outreach program for families
with someone in recovery. It included a
dinner and programming for the families.
These are families that have been torn apart by addictions and are
working to get their lives and families back together. As this is a topic close to my heart these
days, I attended to see if I could help out in any way. To my surprise, one of my own students was
there with her family. This particular student
is one of my favorites this year. She is
so sweet, very quiet, but comes to talk to me frequently after class. She draws pictures for me and even wrote me a
beautiful thank you note for Thanksgiving.
But as much as I feel like I know this kid and have connected with her
at school, I had no idea that she was dealing with the chaos and confusion that
come with having an addict in the family. That first night, I spent some time talking to
her and her family, hoping that it wasn’t too awkward for her with me being
there. From my experience, I understand
that you don’t really want people to know what craziness is going on in your life
-- you keep lots of secrets. So, I spent time talking with others as well and
trying to help the families with their craft projects. That night, they were making Christmas trees out
of wood and yarn and decorating them. Before she left, my student came up to me and
gave me her Christmas tree. She wanted me to have it and she gave me a hug. I
was glad to know that she was OK with me being there. And now that I know more of her truth, I am
amazed even more with her ability to show kindness and generosity.
I have had a few times recently, on a couple of really bad
days, when I was at the end of my rope, questioning why bad things were
happening to me. If nothing else good
comes from me living through my own life’s chaos and confusion, at least maybe
I have gained the empathy and kindness needed to understand people going
through the same or similar situations.
Maybe this kid senses that in me and so we have made a connection.
This Christmas, I am sending my positive thoughts and
prayers to these families in recovery, because it is really easy for things to
fall apart completely. As I keep learning, you truly never know what
someone is going through in his or her life because they may not tell you or
show it. But this is why kindness
matters.
Precisely, dear Juli. Precisely.
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