I have always been a good rule follower. I never park in handicapped parking
spaces. I renew my license and pay my
bills on time. I write my lesson plans
on Sunday nights so that they are online Monday morning. I grade my students’ papers promptly so that
they can know their grades quickly. I am
reliable. Unfortunately, not everything
in life is that reliable and so I am easily shocked when things do not go as
planned.
I have had the biggest shock of my life. I have breast cancer.
Why is this a shock?
Because no close relative of mine has ever had breast cancer – I have to
go back two generations to great aunts and a great-grandma . Because I thought only large-chested women had breast cancer (um, not me). Because since seventh grade, when my grandma
died of diabetes related heart problems, I have only ever worried that I would
have diabetes or heart disease. Breast
cancer? This was far off my radar of
things to worry about. And so I did
not.
But I did turn 40 this past June. I looked forward to it, much more than
turning 30. Turning 40, I was
secure about myself. I didn’t have to
worry about what I haven’t done yet in my life.
I could be happy with what I have done.
However, when you have milestone birthdays, you do think about ticking
off certain boxes. One box for me was
getting a mammogram.
I had thought about it in the previous few years. My mom gets a mammogram every year on her
birthday. Friends who were starting to
turn 40 were talking about getting mammograms.
Even my primary care doctor sent me an alarmist letter telling me to get
one. I wasn’t worried, but remember, I
am a good rule follower. If you are
supposed to get a mammogram at 40, I was going to get one.
Luckily for me, I had a very easy way to get my first
mammogram. On election day, we have a
professional day at school – no students.
For the last few years, our wellness committee had also planned a health
fair for that day. It included a mobile
mammogram unit from the James Cancer Center.
I knew that I wanted to sign up for that mobile mammogram. It was easy – I was already at school.
But then I got busy with other things and forgot to sign up
for an appointment before the deadline.
Oh well, I thought, I can do it next year. Luckily for me, someone else was looking out
for me – a guardian angel maybe. Two
days before the health fair, we got an email telling us that if the mammogram
unit didn’t have at least one more person, they wouldn’t come. OK, I thought, someone is really telling me
that I should get this mammogram. So I
called right away and got my appointment.
The first mammogram was pretty quick and easy. The staff was nice. It was uncomfortable but it didn’t really
hurt like some say. The technician explained the procedures to me
and said that because this was my first mammogram, I may need a follow-up. Follow-up procedures are common. OK.
A couple of weeks later, I got a call from the James and
from my gynecologist’s office. I did
need another mammogram and had a new appointment scheduled. I started to have a sliver of negative
thoughts peep through, but still I thought nothing was wrong. Many others have follow-up procedures.
I went to my appointment with my mother to the Stephanie
Spielman Comprehensive Breast Center. I
must say that this Center is a strikingly beautiful place with the
friendliest staff I have ever observed.
The date was 12/12/12. Many
people were excited about that day since the numeric sequence will not occur in
such an interesting fashion again in most lifetimes. It was an interesting day, maybe a lucky day,
definitely a life-changing day.
The first procedure I had done was another mammogram. I walked in the room nervously but
blissfully ignorant of my situation. The
technician had pictures of my previous mammogram lighted on a screen. She explained to me what we were looking at
and what kinds of mammograms we were going to do. Wait. I
looked at the screen. Is that abnormal,
I asked? The technician diplomatically
gave me a non-answer and my face began to fall -- my first realization that
something was indeed wrong.
My next procedure was an ultrasound -- the longest
ultrasound in the history of man (at least what it seemed like to me). They obviously were looking for
something. I was starting to
understand. Then a radiologist wanted to
talk to me – and my mom. That’s when I
learned about the satellite.
My mom and I walked into a dark, small room with my now
enormous breast lighted on a screen. The
doctor talked about calcifications, measurements in millimeters, and especially
being worried about the satellite. A
satellite, a linked body nearby. For
some reason, that word stuck with me. I
like satellites – like the moon and satellites that circle the earth and tell
us about space. I don’t like this new
satellite. It means there’s something
wrong.
And there really was something wrong. The next week, I ended up having a follow-up
biopsy which showed that I have invasive ductal carcinoma – breast cancer, the
most common type. I didn’t need the
biopsy to know I had cancer. I could
tell from the pictures of the mammograms and the ultrasounds that I had
cancer. I don’t have medical training,
but I had a feeling. I meet with a
surgeon next week to discuss what will come next. I’m not sure what that will mean exactly, but
I have faith that the doctors, nurses and all the medical personnel will do
their best to help me.
Maybe 12/12/12 was my lucky day after all. It was the day that I found out about the
satellite and my breast cancer. There
have been days since then that I have been very sad and scared, but on the whole, besides
being a rule-follower, I am an optimist and I am thinking positively. My cancer is very small, measured in
millimeters instead of centimeters.
Because of developments in technology, they were able to find my cancer
early, when I am young and I have a great chance of fighting it. I am also blessed to have such a wonderful,
top-notch cancer center so nearby. If I
need to fight cancer, I feel good going to such experts. I am also blessed to have such caring family
and friends who I know will help me along my journey.
